Searching
She didn’t know it yet…
She was only five years old when she began to dream, to question the meaning of life, love
She was only five years old when she began searching for the truth behind the unknown story
She didn’t know that throughout her life she would continue searching
Searching for truth
She questioned her memories
She questioned everything
She had witnessed abuse, her own abuse; she became one more unknown statistic
She tried to say something but soon found that it made no difference
She was left questioning why Men feel so empty they feel the need to take away someone’s feelings
She was only seven years old and already felt sick if a stranger; a Man came near her
She couldn’t stand being touched or held even for a moment
She became rebellious but nobody seemed to notice
Soon after this
She learned to hate all Men
She tried to put all the nightmares behind her
She erased all the dark memories from her mind.
All but one..
The memory of him
The blurred image
The voice
The traveler
Lost soul
She didn’t realize that all her life she would continue searching
Searching for the story
Searching for a meaning behind each story
Searching for words that can explain her emotions
Searching for an answer to every unanswered question
Searching for questions to all her answers
Searching for her purpose
Searching for her story
Time went by
The years piled up one by one
Memories filled with dust
No sign of life
No face
No name
No story
She followed her impulse, the signs that went unnoticed
She always felt something was missing.. perhaps it was her mind, her heart, her soul, a missing piece of her story
She tried to find this piece, the lost memories
She searched everywhere but found nothing
She felt a familiar feeling each time she thought of him; the one who gave her life but didn’t stay long enough for her to remember his name
She was left with only faint memories of him
She always asked so many questions
She finally found an answer
She was given a part of the life he left behind
She was given a part of his story
An explanation and finally.. she had a picture to represent the memories
The unanswered questions
A picture for the traveler
The lost soul
She was given his words
Letters she couldn’t understand
Letters she kept then she let go
She kept his broken picture, clothes, and old letters he wrote for her mother
She read his letters each morning trying to find an answer but she was too young to understand that love was just a moment… not meant to be forever
She was given all his letters; letters that were meant to be kept forever
She read these mysterious letters one by one; she read them under the sun
She read them under the trees, in the garden, alone in her room
She was only eight years old but she already understood that love was not love
She understood that love was a feeling, an emotion, a moment
Something that comes and goes
She read all his letters but was left with more questions
She sometimes couldn’t read these letters
There in those letters lived his voice
The voice she never heard
She could see his words, she could feel his words
She finally understood she wasn’t a part of his plan
She learned that money, status, power was more important than love
She understood more and less
She had enough and stopped reading his letters
She couldn’t remember if she read them all
She was told to come to the kitchen table
Her grandmother told her his story, she had heard this many times before but she didn’t accept those words.
She had hope
She wanted to believe that maybe he had a reason
A true purpose
Something to excuse his absence
His lost memory
Nothing
Soon after this, she decided to let go
There was no better choice
It was either
Dream that someday he’ll return
Dream of an explanation
A short answer
Or
Let go
Be free from his memory
Let go of the questions
The unanswered questions
She decided to let go
She Burned all his words,
She watched his letters go up in smoke
The last thing she held in her hands was his picture
She couldn’t understand why
She knew she had to be strong
She let go
She watched his image disappear
Colors fading one by one
The fire consumed his memory
The fire ended her search
She let go
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